Accenture Just Makes Shit Up

First, let’s ignore the fact that we’ve just learned that advertising agencies seem to be engaged in price fixing in order to ad more bullshit charges onto media.  That should be enough to really piss you off and not trust any sort of agency, consulting company or “expert” ever again. Then there is this graphic from Accenture, which I’m pretty sure they have no idea what it means — but understand that the more confusing crap one puts out there, the higher price they can charge their even more confused clients about whatever bullshit they want to sell.


Lets be brutally honest here: this makes less sense than Finnegan’s Wake. While it has words, it doesn’t actually make any sense whatsoever? If you’d take at face value what they are saying, it really sounds like there is a bunch of people running around trying to figure what they are doing. However, that’s kind of the point here: that they want you to think that the aimless nonsense and under-qualified people with no skill sets, or actual ability to do anything is the new norm.

Their website attempting to explain this isn’t much better, with claims that their clueless workforce is actually “holistically agile,” which means that they are probably drinking beer in their underwear.

“Only 19 percent of legacy organizations have complete confidence in their operating models’ ability to keep pace. But some are already leveraging digital innovation hubs—small and highly fluid, inter-disciplinary teams that embrace lean methodologies and are empowered to experiment with new ideas in small batches, often in partnership with outsiders—to solve customer needs. Their challenge going forward: to learn from both the hubs and the disruptors how to become more holistically agile.”

Here’s the key in doing business online: ignore all the non-sense words, all the bullshit brochure-ware and focus on what is important: results. Anything else is an attempt to confuse you into thinking your paying for something that actually doesn’t work. They will try to convince you it does work, but you just “don’t get it.”

No, it doesn’t work, doesn’t make sense, and is a huge waste of your money.

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